The Sober Review of: Warm Bodies

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February 13, 2013 by ldj36

With a poster like this….what the hell was I thinking watching this stupid ass movie.

For as far back as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a zombie. I have always loved zombies; from the totally campy zombies of the 70′s to the gorgeous corpses of today. Warm Bodies made me hate zombies.

Let me rephrase that, I hated the little gay zombies in this movie. They are basically to zombies what Edward Cullen is to vampires. Sissies.

I will say that this was an original and interesting concept and when I first heard about this film I was intrigued by the idea of thinking zombies. This all vanished about 10 minutes into the film. I jus couldn’t relate to the characters, the dialog was poor and the acting…well lets just say that the casting director could have hired real zombies and got better performances.

I suppose this is a bit unfair. No, actually no it isn’t. This movie was bullshit. It is a poor attempt to get the tween demographic interested in what is clearly a big money genre. Lets face it, zombies are huge right now and Hollywood is clearly trying to cash in with every demo imaginable. Next will be a zombie movie geared toward toddlers about an all American zombie family. I hate it already.

So let me finish this review by paraphrasing Dave Chappelle via Rick James: I wish I had 4 hands so I could give this movie 4 thumbs down. Don’t watch it.

P.S. To be fair, I suppose I wasn’t exactly “sober” when I watched this movie. I did take my daily allotment of pain medication so technically I was chopped.